home.

home

This is my parents home, my home. It was tiny before tiny was cool. It has held so much love, and so many people from all over the world. People have chosen to stay here when they’ve had other (supposedly bigger or better) choices. I attribute this to the love my parents have for each other and their nonjudgmental hearts. A person could (and has) show up at any hour and they would help them or just have a conversation over tea.

We moved here when I was 13, about 1990/91. I never had privacy. My bedroom was a walk-through room with a door going to the driveway. To have a teenage conversation I would have to drag the cord of a landline telephone 20 feet around the corner to my room. If my brother or I fought with our parents and the doors would eventually slam, we all felt it, literally. My parents bedroom is a walk-through to the bathroom. It has been a place of giggling, tears, love, hugs, quick forgiveness and throwing out grudges along with the shower water (the bathroom is too small for a tub).

I remember one time, my brother had come home from Rhode Island with a bunch of friends and they were looking for a place to crash after a night out. The next morning I came to visit and there were people splayed out all over the living room floor; I could hardly take a step without stepping on a hand or a leg. There was even a dog amongst the blankets. One of them woke up when my mom handed them a coffee and they said, “this is better than the Ritz!”…and I knew they had meant it.

Sometimes my mom wishes for a different place to live or a bigger kitchen or a bath, but I think this IS the only place. A place where people are comfortable and can be themselves and be loved. An open door with a hug waiting on the other side is the best place. I’ve been in larger homes with no love at all, and boy are they cold and uninviting. Tiny homes bring us closer together in more ways than one. ❤️

Recognizing Good Days

Today was one of those days that just goes all kinds of right.

My husband had the day off from work and the kids tried like heck to get all of their schoolwork done early, so we could get out the door and play! We made a reservation at Okemo Mountain and skied as a family. The thermometer hit 48 degrees by lunchtime and the snow was like sugar. Within the first half hour we had stripped down to our tee-shirts. The sun was as bright as we’d seen all winter. The eaves were dripping and the roads were wet with runoff. The smiles were as wide as the trails we were skiing down. We had lunch on a picnic table away from other people; we are all still social distancing, after all. Lunch was: thrown-together sandwiches, goldfish, apples, oranges, and strawberries and water to chug. A microbrew for the adults. If the snow hadn’t been all around us, we may have believed it was May in Vermont, certainly not March.

Some people call these days False Spring. After a long winter, no New Englander likes to let their guard down to Spring when Winter can come right back when you least expect it. It hurts more when that happens. The cold is colder and the warmth seems further away.

When we got home, we started up a fire to boil sap to make maple syrup. The smell was heavenly and the sun was still warming us. The kids were playing out back and building jumps in the snow and practicing tricks on skis. My husband got very quiet. I noticed and said, “what are you thinking about?” He mumbled something about jinxing himself. I responded: “its ok to know when things are going really well in your life. You won’t jinx it by saying so. In fact, it’s all the more reason to recognize these moments…for when things aren’t going as well, you can look back on these days.” He nodded and looked at the children with heart eyes and continued to be introspective.

In our family we are currently healthy, we are nearly always happy and secure in many ways. The kids still want to be with us. They play and give hugs freely and often. We often feel that our life is ‘too good’. My husband gets suspicious about it and in turn, he’s almost waiting for the ball to drop, so to speak.

One day this may all change. The days may not be so sunny; things may feel chilly. It is important to recognize good moments before they slip away, unnoticed.

Spring is only 10 days away. I wish everyone more Good Days.

To Be Together, Again

I wake up early and pull back the shades in my bedroom to reveal a warm sun on a very cold March day, coming up over the hill. The house is quiet; the children are still asleep and so is my husband. I look in the mirror and see what a mess my hair is, likely from my ski helmet yesterday. “I should jump in the shower”, I say to myself.

But first, I have a thought. I remember a music video that I love to watch when I’m feeling nostalgic for concerts and people and warm days and freedom. It’s a live concert video of Susan Tedeschi and Derek Trucks and their amazing band playing Midnight in Harlem. I bring it up on Youtube and I am immediately transported. I am standing with thousands of other people who have the same admiration as I do. We’re all swaying to the sweet sounds of Tedeschi’s thick, magical voice and Truck’s serenading slide guitar and humble ability. The song is originally written by band member and back-up singer, Mike Mattison. I send my thanks to him for being the vessel for this art.

Every time I watch this video and hear the music, it makes me cry, I cannot help it. The tears just come; the sound is unbelievable. I can’t imagine being able to sing like she does and play an instrument like they both do. And on top of that, the band is able to bring together all these people with such emotion!

I realize that nearly every person in the arena is watching them, is entranced by them. I look at the date of the concert and it reads 2012. I think: was this one of the last concerts free from cell phones and cameras? No one is filming, no one is looking away. I wonder if that’s why the energy is so high; everyone seemed to be truly present.

I can hardly wait to be transported by live music again. There isn’t much that compares to a crowd being together for a singular reason, united by the magic of music. I hope it’s soon, for our mental health and happiness but also for the musicians. May they be able to play again to thousands of dancing people with heart eyes.

Just as I wish for the song to go on forever, the video ends.

Time for my shower and the day to truly begin. Have a watch below and be transported.